Tuesday, August 21, 2007

Spring Cleaning

Yes, I know it's August! Due to a comment on my previous post, I've removed all the pictures from my blog, so excuse the flurry of activity, those 19 of you who subscribe on Bloglines. With all that, I thought it was time for a new post anyway. I know, I know - two posts in a month? Be still, your beating hearts! I'll try not to shock you into insensibility.

Amongst the things on my mind is the decision we made, pre-Bee, to never disclose that he was born of a donor egg. The more I've read stories of donor conceived children, as well as other parents who have used donor gametes, this position seemed a little... wrong to me. To keep that information from the Bee, when so many others were privy to it really bothered me. So I discussed this with Mr. Right yesterday and he agreed with me. Thus, officially, we have changed our minds. I discussed this also with my cousin, as she's involved in this as well, and she agrees, too. When Bee is old enough to understand, we'll tell him. I'm going to borrow heavily from the Drowned Girl, because I really like the was she phrases it: Sometimes, doctors have to help a Mommy & Daddy have a baby. Some of Mommys' eggs were bad, so Aunt A gave us some eggs so we could have you. I have to ask her about some of the books she found about explaining donor egg conception to a child... but there you go. I think it would be much better to tell a child growing up that this is the way things are, instead of finding out by accident in his 20's or 30's when it would be a much worse betrayal to come across this information.

By the way, so and visit with Drowned Girl: after a very scary bleeding episode, she finds that she is pregnant with twins! Wowee! Still keeping fingers crossed ;)

Mr. Right and I have also been thinking about adding to our family. We would love to have another child, and I would rather Bee not grow up an only child. (Not that I think there's anything wrong with only children, or with having an only child... we'd just like to try to have another child in our family). I talked to A yesterday to see what her schedule is like next summer, but it seems very iffy. She's in grad school and has a clinical rotation in march for about 8 weeks. Then a break, then summer school with a break before the fall semester starts. Hypothetically we could do it on one of these breaks if it's long enough; she'll find out what the time frame is once school starts up again next week.

One thing we need to take into consideration is planetary influences. I bet you didn't think I was going to say that, did you? After meeting with our astrologer this past weekend, Neptune is in my chart, as well as Jupiter. Apparently, Jupiter loves children, so this fall into next year is an ideal time to get pregnant. As my astrologer said, "I don't care whose eggs you use, but you're going to get eggs from somewhere. This is a very favorable time for pregnancy." With Saturn also in my chart, it's going to be a challenge: nothing sexy or spontaneous about getting pregnant; Saturn loves a science experiment. Good way to sum up IVF, eh? The problem comes in when Uranus enters my chart. Uranus does not like children at all (in Greek mythology, Uranus hated his children with Gaia), and I'd be more prone to miscarry with Uranus, and unlikely I'd get pregnant at all. Uranus enters my chart in spring/summer of 2009, so that would be a good time for a c-section (Uranus=good time for surgery). So these are things we need to think about, too.

Yes, I sure many of you reading this are going to think I'm totally flaky, but I've seen way too many things read true to dismiss as "coincidence." To clarify, astrology is not fate, it's not seeing the future. It's just following a blue print. A home is not a blueprint. It's built with materials of your choosing, and decorated in your own style. Astrology is not about the "how", but it is about the "why". It can explain why you react the way you do in certain situations, why you may click with some but butt heads with others. He gave me some pretty insightful information about my mother. She was born with Uranus in her chart, which reject the maternal. She's not a maternal person. She's attracted to men, but with strange energies. She married my father, who later turned out to be gay. The relationship she had with my brother was not a maternal relationship but co-dependent. She now has formed a new co-dependent relationship with her "second son", an African priest who is very kind, but also very needy. And my mother needs to be needed. She doesn't like women and needs to be in control in every relationship. She has a very "wounded" chart and is in a very miserable place in her life right now. He said it's going to get worse in the spring, so to just be a little nice to her. He added it's okay to have a relationship with her, as there's nothing she can to do me that's too damaging, but it's best to keep it at a distance. There's more, but I've got to get to work.

Hope you all are well and enjoying your day. Thanks to all of you who commented on my last post.

Monday, August 13, 2007

Always On My Mind...

As I mentioned in my last post, there's a ton of things on my mind. Awake and sleeping, as my dreams lately have centered around abandonment issues of the parental sort. (My parents). These dreams have been aggravating. It's so incredibly nice that I can wake up next to my loving husband with my delightful son sleeping next door.

One thing I've been thinking about for quite a while is this site I came across months ago. I have a section on the bottom right of this blog of sites that link to my site, and I saw this unfamiliar site listed there. Curious, I clicked and was a little taken aback. The vitriol this woman has for reproductive technology is rather disturbing. I can't quite get over the fact that she opines children of gamete donation are raised by strangers, not their "real" parents. That biology is all that matters; love means nothing. Naturally, I take issue with this view point. She terms reproductive technology the "baby trade" and likens babies to slaves. Unless these babies in question are being raised as animals to perform menial tasks for no compensation, I really find this comparison to be a bit extreme. Usually, (I would think) babies resulting from ART are very much wanted and loved, and cherished dearly throughout their lives. I'm sure there are a number of children who are born or adopted only to fulfill a need or emptiness in the parent(s), and wanting to love and rear a child is secondary to the need to be loved. She does link to sites of people born from donor insemination who were terribly unhappy upon discovering they were the result of a sperm donation.

It's a lot of food for thought... I'm curious to hear the thoughts of those of you who would like to explore it. Oh, and she links here and sums up my blog as "woman raising boy conceived by cousin's egg." Yeah, that really encompasses the love the three of us share. It doesn't matter that my blood flowed through his veins, that I nourished him enwombed, that my milk provided him with sustenance and boosted his immune system. It doesn't matter that I chose a practical solution instead of risking passing on an awful disease to a much loved child. That I sacrificed passing on my own DNA. Apparently the only thing that matters, is that my son does not possess half of my DNA. It seems bizarre and naive to break it down so simplistically.

However. However...I do know the truth. I know I'd never be able to explain it to this woman, she'd never get it. Oh, and by the way, best wishes to Drowned Girl, who is pregnant thus far with donor egg FET. Yay! I'm keeping my fingers crossed for you.

So... Your thoughts?

P.S.: Still hoping to hear from anyone who can put me in touch with the Fisher Queen!

Wednesday, August 08, 2007

Paging The Fisher Queen...

Yeah, I'm still here, I've just had a ton of thoughts rattling about in my noggin and I've been a baaaaad blogger. I think I'm going to have to break everything down into separate posts... you know, instead of a great big, topic-jumping rambling post. For a change.

Anyhoo, I went to visit the Fisher Queen's site yesterday and she's now on invite only. Does anyone have her e-mail address so I can request permission? I'd appreciate it if someone could e-mail me at right.v.easy at gmail dot com, or leave it in the comments. Thank you!

In my quest to loose 20 pounds this year, I have lost... none. Yep, in eight months, I have lost nada. I hover between 152 and 149. Usually I'm 152. Why? Well, let me put it this way: Mr. Right is currently watching Hallow*een H20 and my first thought was "Mmmm, Hallo*ween... Candy corn!" Yeah, I've got a raging sweet tooth and really crappy will power. I've reduced my goal to 10 pounds, and I'm trying to get to the gym 5 days a week, which I've been doing pretty well. Even though I've only been getting 5.5 to 6 hours of sleep a night. So, that's my cue. Even though I took a little nap while Mr. Right was fixing dinner, I'm wiped and gotta hit the hay. So sweet dreams, be well, and I'll fill you in on more stuff... hopefully tomorrow.