Friday, April 29, 2011

Same old, same old. And I mean that in the best possible way...

Nope, I don't update too frequently. Very busy with work and life. Plus, really... all is well. How exciting is that? Our son turned five in early April and will be starting Kindergarten in September. He's bright and precocious, although can be lazy. It still drives me crazy that he doesn't do what I ask him to WHEN I ask him to do it. I'm not sure if that's an age thing, a boy thing, an Aries thing, or all combined...but he's a good boy. He's very healthy, for which we are exceedingly grateful every day.

Finally, after nearly TWO YEARS he's back to a better sleeping routine! We can now put him to bed in his bed, awake and say good night. He has returned to sleeping through the night. When he does wake up, usually for some water, he'll go back to bed without much ado. What sheer bliss! Wow, that's nice. :)

Life is a constant adjustment, as Bee grows and develops from a toddler to preschooler, from a baby to little boy to big boy. He's long and lean, so his pants often wind up short long before he outgrows the waistband. He's funny and all boy - he loves his action figures, super heroes and sports. He's good with girls, though and usually gentle with them, although sometimes he needs reminding. He's fascinated by the body. He was assigned to represent the letter "S" in his Nursery School Parade. We thought, surely he'll be Superman - he has a big red "S" on his chest! (And we have a Superman costume rather handy). However, Bee chose to be a skeleton instead. He has skeleton pajamas, but, since his dad and I work with bones and anatomy a great deal in our line of work, we didn't want him to feel he had to choose this. We suggested other options - spider, Spider-man, sun, Superman... No, he really wanted to be a skeleton! He also pointed out some "s" bones - skull, scapula, scaphoid, sacrum. Okay, yes, technically the skull is comprised up of many bones, but it sufficed for Nursery School. All went well ans I actually remembered to record it on video.

We get to see our extended family once a year at Christmastime. Bee has a cousin who is now 19 months! We stay connected on the FB, and need to S*kype more often, but we all do what we can with our schedules. My cousin who donated her eggs to get Bee here is well. She graduated and is now a practitioner in her field, owning her own home and paying off her student loans. She was kind enough to call and wish Bee a happy birthday, and we did the same on her day (they're both born in the same month). We wonder at which age it would be best to tell him the story of how he got here. He's seen the ultrasound pictures, from the two transferred embryos to right before he was born and he's fascinated. We want to disclose at a good stage of his emotional development, not too early that he can't understand it, but not too old that he'll wonder why we waited so long. If anyone has some suggestions, I'd be grateful. I don't think anyone actually reads this anymore, but I'm throwing it out there!

Be well, everyone and Happy Spring. May you all find your happiness in life.

Wednesday, August 18, 2010

Where's Bee? He left? Where did he go?

I am very blessed to be able to go to the gym during the week in the early morning while my dearest husband and angelic son remain blissfully asleep. On good days. On great days, when I return, I can hear my son playing quietly in our room while Mr. Right tries deperately to get a few more winks in. When Bee hears me come home, I can hear him tell his father: "Tell her I left! Tell her I drove off in my car!" [giggle giggle snort]

I enter our bedroom to see Mr. Right, sleepy in bed and smiling, along with a slightly moving large lump under the covers.

"Where's Bee?" I ask knowingly.

"Oh, I don't know. He got in his car and drove off. I think he went to one of his girlfriends'."
[giggle giggle giggle]

"Hmmmm. You mean his Pooh car? He won't get very far in that."
[muffled: "I went to get coffee! glug glug glug!"]

"Hey, that sounded like Bee!" I peek under the covers to his laughter.

"No! I left! Don't spill my coffee!"

We play this game, one of my favorites, and it never fails to crack me up or get me in a great mood for the rest of the day.

Saturday, January 09, 2010

Covered in... I beg your pardon?

Well! Happy New Year to you all, hopefully this year will bring good things to those of you working so hard for them. I keep my fingers (and toes) crossed for everyone.

We had a lovely, relaxing Christmas and New Years with our favorite family out west and have now hit the ground running with work. In fact, I'm in the office n a Saturday and should be working, but I thought I'd interject with this little anecdote from June of 2009 before it goes down the memory hole.


Scene: Mr. Right and I in our bathroom, getting ready to turn in for the night. This has been the third day of potty training our 3 year old son.

Me: "Ugh, I was covered in pee before."
Mr. R: "Oooh, kinky."

I look at Mr. Right as if to say, Oh, yes, I just love being covered in our son's pee.

Mr. R: "Yeah, I know. Not the kind of covered-in-pee you'd want."

-pause. We both burst out laughing.

Me: "You mean, there's a "covered-in-pee" you would want?"
Mr. R: "No, but I thought it was funny!"

Aaaaaaaaaand scene.

Bee actually did very well with potty training, so it all worked out for the best. Any stories of your own? Please share!

Tuesday, November 17, 2009

Oh, for crying out loud...

Well! It would appear that 13 MONTHS have past since my last post. I have managed to keep up with most of your blogs through Bloglines (boy, somebody was thinking!) What have I been doing all this time? Working! And after that, I try to make dinner, spend some time with the Bee before his bedtime. If I'm lucky, I'm awake enough to chill and watch a little entertainment before I fall asleep. Because I usually get up at 5:30 - 6 am to go work out. And the day starts all over!

So - I'm busy. I know y'all get it. Bee is 3.5 years old, very active, lean, muscular, loquacious, bright, funny and defiant. He's sweet and compassionate, but also protective. Saturday I had to talk to Mr. Right, who was lying on the couch with a chest cold watching a movie with the Bee. Bee flung his arm across his father and scolded me: "You don't talk to my friend Daddy that way!" He practically growled!! First of all, I never speak rudely to my husband. Ever. It's just funny that this little boy picked up on me talking to the Man and interrupting his movie time! Sometimes he "defends" me too, although none of us ever need defending. The boy is fierce! And did I mention chatty? That's what his nursery school teacher told me on his first day. He cried when we dropped him off, practically sprinted to the door, but the teacher scooped him up and distracted him. They called later to say he was upset for the first five minutes, then became really interested in the opening activities. "He's having a great time and he's very chatty!" We thought that was funny, because I thought, oh lady, you have no idea. He's very clear and talks up a storm. Knows all his colors. Only seems to know the letter "s", but we know he'll pick up the rest soon enough. We LOVE his nursery school. He goes 2 days a week for 2.5 hours in the afternoons. The teachers are wonderful, the classroom is adorable and we're really thrilled. He loves it too. It took a couple of weeks, but know when we drop him off, there's no more anxiety. He can't wait to talk to his teachers and make things. He knows that we will always come to pick him up "when the work is done."

Work is good, but we had to let our last person go, which really sucked. She was a sweet girl who did a great job, but we had been terribly slow snce last November, and couldn't justify another person. So, it's just me and Mr. Right. Of course, 1 month after she was let go, business picked up and we've been busy ever since. We're busy enough for two, but not for three. So we're doing okay, especially since our overhead is now lower.

I like being a working mom, but gee it's tiring! That's why I've made friends with my slow cooker. That's the one wedding gift that keeps on giving! We've decided that we would like another child, but we'll have to wait. I don't think we're going to ask my cousin to donate, since she has now graduated and is working in her field. She's busy, and donating is a lot to do in a month that's far from where she lives. She bought a house and is doing great - we're so proud of her! We'll see her again at Christmas when we go to my aunt's for Christmas and New Year's. We're trying to make that a yearly tradition. We have such a wonderful time being part of a family! Plus my cousin J got married and had a son earlier this year so we'll be able to meet the baby. Bee's very first cousin! He's very excited.

We're nearly out of credit card debt, so then we can start saving. I guess the only option is IVF/PGD with my eggs, but I'm not terribly optimistic. They're not like cheese or wine; age is not their friend and I just turned 39. I saw a psychic who said I have one more baby coming - a girl, who will be healthy. So either we go through IVF or I miraculously become pregnant with a singleton, intrauterine pregnancy despite my tubal ligation. But I suppose stranger things have happened. I have put it God's hands. If it's meant to be, it will. It's a LOT easier to take this approach since we already have a happy, well-adjusted child in our lives. I will be fine if it doesn't work out, but I'll know that somewhere "up there" Amelie will be about. Supposed to be with us, but waiting. Ah well.

And now, I've got to get back to work. I've got deadlines to meet and a son to pick from school soon, waiting to show me the neat things he made during the day. I'm happy, healthy and blessed. I'm married to my best friend, working in a career I love with lots of work to keep us busy, and a home of our own. We've got some great family and good friends. Life is good.

How about you? And can anyone recommend a great slow cooker? I want to get one for my cousin as a housewarming gift. I'd love to hear about your opinions in the comments. Thank you! Have a pleasant day ;)

Friday, October 03, 2008

My, My... How Time Does Fly...

I had all these wonderful intentions to update regularly, and now it's October. Good Lord, time does fly. As a kid, it seemed like time would drag on and on, waiting for a birthday, Christmas, Halloween.... forever. The older I get, time seems to just speed by faster and faster.

Case in point, the Bee is now a two-and-a-half year-old little boy with a personality all his own. Really, the obsession with sports and (soccer, basket, base, foot) balls... Where on EARTH did that come from? Not us! Although he does like Su.perman and Harr.y Potte.r, The Iron Gi.ant and Fin.ding N.emo. He loves to run and play with his friends and we can have actual conversations with him. "Mom? I like this blanket. I think it's better for me." Well, okay! You can use that blanket, then. Cutie.

Here's an exchange from today:

"Mommy! There's a man sitting in a chair. Come see! Let me show you, Mom." As Bee was pointing to our living room, I was wondering if this was an imaginary man, or perhaps my brother or...

Bee points to our DVD collection, where Mr. Right has action figures set up near the films they represent. In front of The Ma.trix, we have Morpheus sitting in a chair, next to a small table with a telephone. This is the man in question. I'm a bit relieved.

"See, Mommy? There's a telephone! I want to touch it..." I guide him away from the action figure, as we've taught him that this is Daddy's Museum, and Not For Touching. Of course, after I leave the room, he opens the glass case and takes the telephone anyway.

"Mommy! Look! I have a telephone!" I thank him, put it back where it belongs and take him out of the room, which is the consequence for touching the things in Daddy's Museum he's not supposed to. He puts up a bit of a fight, and in a couple of minutes, he's fine and excited about his Opah coming over to play.

He's in a big-boy bed now, which is really taking some adjustment on our part. Sometimes at night he'll get out of bed, just to see "What's going on?" This is usually right after we've put him in for the night. Or it's "I want the other one pillow." Or "I want blanket on/off me." He's getting up less in the middle of the night since we've started using a night light in the hallway and leave his door open all night. He does get up early, however. Well, early for us: 6:00 or 7:00 a.m. In his crib, he'd wake up early but play by himself until we'd go in to get him, around 8:00 am. We're trying to teach him that when he gets up he can play quietly by himself until we get up, although he usually comes in to check on us about 7:00 a.m. It's hard to be upset with his smiling, beautiful face saying "Good morning! I love you, Mommy/Daddy!" Really, how can you get mad at that? And that's even considering my husband and I used to be morning people, as far as intimacy is concerned. We've had to change to the evening shift, which is, again, a big adjustment. But kind of exciting.... I mean, if I'm awake enough, we could get together anytime! Which means I'm needing to shave more than once a week. After all this time, I find I need to be on my toes. Now there's an exciting consequence I hadn't considered before... I love mommyhood!

Thursday, June 26, 2008

Four for...

She lives!

Ooooh, my first meme! I have been tagged by Snickollet (basically) and in lieu of an update post which I swear is coming (essentailly we're fine, Bee's growing and talking), I thought I'd start with this to get things going again. Yeesh, those blogging joints are achey. Five months?! Good Lord!

Four Jobs I Have Held
1. Stable hand
2. Pizza maker
3. Phlebotomist
4. Illustrator/Project Manager

Four Movies I Could Watch Over and Over
1. Raiders of the Lost Ark
2. Aliens
3. The Man Who Knew Too Little
4. Sliding Doors

Four Places I Have Lived
1. Long Island, NY
2. Rochester, NY
3. Atlanta, GA
4. Central NJ

Four TV Shows I Like
1. Battlestar Gallactica
2. Dr. Who
3. Lost
4. Smallville

Four Favorite Foods
1. Chocolate
2. Palak paneer
3. Cherries
4. Filet mignon, medium rare

Four Places I Would Rather Be
1. With Mr. Right and the Bee, just about anywhere fun
2. Visiting our family in Albuquerque
3. Sorrento, Italy
4. Atlanta, GA

Four People I'm Tagging
1. You,
2. You,
3. You and...
4. You

In grade school, I was always picked last for sports (on account of being 'corroded'), so I like these things where "anyone" can be picked. If you'd like to do one, I'd love to read your answers!

Ugh, shame on me for taking such a long time to post... I'll be back with more soon. Thank you, Clover, for reminding me...

Sunday, January 13, 2008


There's a saying: You can pick your friends, but you can't pick your family. I don't think this is precisely true. My personal belief is that your soul does pick your parents. If your parents are abusive or assholian towards you, their children, this is not your fault - it is the free will of the parents. They are not supposed to be abusive or cruel; they are likely in a situation where they are supposed to resist violence. If they don't, they'll have to deal with this conflict in the next lifetime. Or the next. Hopefully parents are kind, loving and compassionate towards their children. I think everyone can agree on that.

Our parents are who they are, flaws and all. Some of us come from loving homes with kind, nuturing and supportive parents. Some of us come from homes that make the Manson family look like Father Knows Best. I'm sure most of us fall somewhere in between.

The more I think about family, the kind I came from as well as friends' families, the more I've been thinking about the kind of family I want to have. Me, Mr. Right and the Bee. That's our family right there. Mr. Right and I have been talking about this a lot, too. We like the Cleaver kind of family setting, but updated: Happy, productive Dad, nurturing, guiding, firm but loving. Handy around the house and enjoys fixing things: taking things apart and puts them back together, good as new. Happy, domestic Mom, cooking, straightening up (good Lord, who has time to clean! Sucontract that job out!), working nearly full-time, takes time to play and read with the kids. A firm, loving teacher who also knows that putting her needs first is not only important but essential. Once your own needs are met, you can happily see to the needs of everyone else. I learned from my own mother what not to do: putting everone else first, thereby creating deep seated resentment for everyone in your family which you then use as amunition in any argument. ("I ALWAYS put you kids first!" shrieked while squinting eyes and clenching teeth). Happy joy.

We spent Christmas Eve at my In-Laws, as we do each year. It was a little cold, and they seemed so high strung with the Bee, now 21 months, running around. "No! Come here! Don't touch that! Here! Come here! Sit with Omie! No! Sit!" Yeagh! The tension! When we left, Mr. Right let loose what had been bothering him about the visit.

"My father barely said two words to me! He was so cold and distant - he's always been moody. Yet he hovers over the Bee like a sticky shadow! And what was with them freaking out over everything Bee did? Clam down. Give the kid some room already! And you know what? You are absolutely right to wait to eat until everyone is seated and has been served. Absolutely right! It's just common courtesy! They never wait! They're like scavengers! Would it kill them to wait and start the meal together like a family?!"

Mr. Right grew up in a household fraught with tension and anxiety; screaming matches were the norm, usually lasting 4 or 5 days out of the week. His dad would be gone for days at a time, and his mother would endlessly complain about his "usless" father. Not somethign a boy needs to hear growing up.

I grew up in what I thought was a normal household. I didn't find out until later that it wasn't normal for your mother to tell you she wanted to kill herself all the time. My father didn't really know how to be a dad, but he learned. He was loving and at the same time, not amused by the usual-kid antics my brother and I pulled off. "I fail to see the humor," was his favorite refrain we heard most often. But he also went to my father-daughter dance my junior year in high school when he was sick as a dog with a fever. At least he keeps learning adn getting better.

We can't control the kinds of families we came from, but we can create the family life we want to have. For example, we have dinner every night as a family. Either Mr. Right or I cook (depending on our schedules), we sit down together, say grace, and enjoy conversaion over dinner. Obviously, we don't expect the Bee to wait to start eating, especially if we get started a little later, but he holds our hands as we say grace and says "Okay!" after the amen. We were not really a say-grace-before-dinner family before, but it seems like such a nice way to start the meal. And, of course, to give thanks for the food we are about to eat.

Bee sees common pleasantries exchanged between his parents on a daily basis... Please and thank-yous have always been said, we laugh a lot and genuinely enjoy each other's company. Our household is relaxed and easy going. We're affectionate, hugging and kissing frequently. The only time we have the television is when we're watching something with Bee, or put something on to accomplish a task ( Nem.o, Rata.touille, Toy Sto.ry and the like).

I do wish I could be home with Bee more often, but I need to work. As in, we couldn't afford to hire someone for the work I do. Unless, of course, Mr. Right did all my work, too, in which case he would never see Bee and we would be two ships passing in the night. Naturally, this is not acceptable to either of us, so we are truly fortunate to have Mr. Right's dad watch Bee during the day. He's not ideal, but he's far from a bad choice and we have to work with what we have.

Naptime has really straightened itself out, by the way. As of my typing these words right here, he has been sleeping for 1 hour and 22 minutes. I put him in his crib, when he said "Stay," I said I would certainly stay for a while. I put his little blanket over him as he got into his favorite position, perpendicular at the top of the crib. I sat down on the floor next to him and told how how much I loved him, how happy we were that he choose us and was a part of our family. Within five minutes his little thumb started to slide out of his mouth. I got up, put the monitoron and left the room with the door open just a crack. 1 hour 28 minutes; not bad. I know my in-laws do the exact same thing, so it really works out. That's a huge relief for me.

Gotta run- Bee is up from his nap: 1 hour, 35 minutes. I'll take it! I hope you all are well. Good afternoon, good evening, and good night.