Thursday, February 22, 2007


The Bee fell off the bed on Tuesday night. Or to be more precise, he was standing up, holding onto the metal footboard, leaned over, flipped and did a nose dive onto the floor. While I was watching him. Panic, panic panic. I was terrified, thinking of head injuries, spinal cord injuries, etc. When I picked him up he arched his back , holding his breath, cried and then passed out. Then I really started wigging. He was still breathing, and came to pretty quickly. Mr. R ran upstairs, as he could hear the fall from the office. I felt like the worst mother ever under his gaze. I called the Bee's pedi, who said he's probably fine and to bring him to the ER just to be on the safe side. We did, Bee was examined and had a head CT, which was normal. His behavior was fine and he didn't even have a bump. Not sure how that was possible. I had to wake him up at 2:30 am just to make sure he was alert and orientated, and he was. All day yesterday he's back to his usual self, and only a little redness on his forehead. Not even a bump! Little muffin, I felt so awful, but I'm just grateful he's okay. That was enough excitement for a week. Or a month.

I know Kath and Thalya are nearly neck and neck with their pregnancies, just past the middle of the first trimester when everything seems so touch and go, and the DBTs are ever present. I just wanted to say that the DBTs don't go away once they're out and home from the hospital. I'm sure every parent alive has gone in to check on their sleeping baby, just to make sure they're still breathing. I think I'd be in a shear panic if I went in and my son wasn't breathing. Because then you wonder, well, how long has he not been breathing?! It's scary business, being a parent, and I suppose anyone who has gone through ART has kinda been through a crash course of crappy scenerios (cancelled cycles, low fertilization results, early losses) to be able to deal with these kind of things. As a good friend of mine said, "That's life. Kids are going to get hurt, whether you're with them or not. " We just need to try in minimze the damage; falling off a bed is one thing. Falling down a flight of stairs is something else.

On a lighter note, any time Bee gets close to the edge of the bed or the couch, we warn him not to get too close. "You don't want to fall off and bonk your head." He sits up, grinning, and slaps the side of his head with his hand, simulating bonking, it would appear. Bonk indeed.

Thursday, February 01, 2007

General PMS Musings...

Is it just me, or do there seem to be a fair number of pregnancies going on? Kath and Thalya are in the early stages and I'm both happy and nervous for them. Vicky just found out she was pregnant on January 7th, and is feeling icky (yay!). Hurry Up n Wait is just out of the first trimester (I think), Leggy is at 15 weeks with twins, and Luo Lin is past 20 weeks. NME at Strangeafeet is expecting her second child in August. It's so nice to see, I only wish this for more of the lovely women I read. So go visit these lovely ladies and offer your support, I know we could all use it!

That, and I really wanted to get the previous post behind me. I sounded so desperate! I swear I'm not begging for attention, but I am, apparently in the throws of PMS. Just being moody, irritable, and generally insecure. I also haven't figured out a way to see who has been visiting here or how often so all I have to go by are the comments.

Manuela of the recently password protected Thin Pink Line wrote about being disappointed that she had a visit from the crimson bitch, even though she and her husband had not had sex the previous month. Which means that had she been pregnant, it would have been my immaculate conception. I find this concept hysterical, and I can still relate to it. I keep having dreams that I get pregnant, we go through testing and find out everything is fine. Then I wake up. Now, having had a tubal ligation, it's next to impossible to get pregnant. I told Mr. Right about these dreams, as he and I have been talking about our desire to extend out family. He told me to keep dreaming, not that he wouldn't love for it to happen, but the chances are nil. Besides the fact that the reason I had my tubes tied to begin with were to avoid having to terminate a pregnancy with an affected male or carrier female. Which really sucked the first time around.

We've spoken with my cousin, but her schedule is booked with school for about the next two years. So, the way I look at it, we'll just have to play it by ear and listen to our hearts. We tried so hard with the IVF and PGD. When we did the donor cycle, it worked out so well - our schedules, the RE just happened to have a cycle available that coincided with our schedules, and it worked - we have a bouncing and healthy baby Bee. I believe that that was the way is was supposed to work. So, we'll just have to figure out what we're supposed to do. If it turns out we can't give the Bee a brother or a sister that will be okay. Believe me, I am so happy with the Bee and I'm grateful for my blessings every day. I mean, actually every day. We just need to listen to our instincts; they haven't been wrong yet.