Tuesday, August 21, 2007

Spring Cleaning

Yes, I know it's August! Due to a comment on my previous post, I've removed all the pictures from my blog, so excuse the flurry of activity, those 19 of you who subscribe on Bloglines. With all that, I thought it was time for a new post anyway. I know, I know - two posts in a month? Be still, your beating hearts! I'll try not to shock you into insensibility.

Amongst the things on my mind is the decision we made, pre-Bee, to never disclose that he was born of a donor egg. The more I've read stories of donor conceived children, as well as other parents who have used donor gametes, this position seemed a little... wrong to me. To keep that information from the Bee, when so many others were privy to it really bothered me. So I discussed this with Mr. Right yesterday and he agreed with me. Thus, officially, we have changed our minds. I discussed this also with my cousin, as she's involved in this as well, and she agrees, too. When Bee is old enough to understand, we'll tell him. I'm going to borrow heavily from the Drowned Girl, because I really like the was she phrases it: Sometimes, doctors have to help a Mommy & Daddy have a baby. Some of Mommys' eggs were bad, so Aunt A gave us some eggs so we could have you. I have to ask her about some of the books she found about explaining donor egg conception to a child... but there you go. I think it would be much better to tell a child growing up that this is the way things are, instead of finding out by accident in his 20's or 30's when it would be a much worse betrayal to come across this information.

By the way, so and visit with Drowned Girl: after a very scary bleeding episode, she finds that she is pregnant with twins! Wowee! Still keeping fingers crossed ;)

Mr. Right and I have also been thinking about adding to our family. We would love to have another child, and I would rather Bee not grow up an only child. (Not that I think there's anything wrong with only children, or with having an only child... we'd just like to try to have another child in our family). I talked to A yesterday to see what her schedule is like next summer, but it seems very iffy. She's in grad school and has a clinical rotation in march for about 8 weeks. Then a break, then summer school with a break before the fall semester starts. Hypothetically we could do it on one of these breaks if it's long enough; she'll find out what the time frame is once school starts up again next week.

One thing we need to take into consideration is planetary influences. I bet you didn't think I was going to say that, did you? After meeting with our astrologer this past weekend, Neptune is in my chart, as well as Jupiter. Apparently, Jupiter loves children, so this fall into next year is an ideal time to get pregnant. As my astrologer said, "I don't care whose eggs you use, but you're going to get eggs from somewhere. This is a very favorable time for pregnancy." With Saturn also in my chart, it's going to be a challenge: nothing sexy or spontaneous about getting pregnant; Saturn loves a science experiment. Good way to sum up IVF, eh? The problem comes in when Uranus enters my chart. Uranus does not like children at all (in Greek mythology, Uranus hated his children with Gaia), and I'd be more prone to miscarry with Uranus, and unlikely I'd get pregnant at all. Uranus enters my chart in spring/summer of 2009, so that would be a good time for a c-section (Uranus=good time for surgery). So these are things we need to think about, too.

Yes, I sure many of you reading this are going to think I'm totally flaky, but I've seen way too many things read true to dismiss as "coincidence." To clarify, astrology is not fate, it's not seeing the future. It's just following a blue print. A home is not a blueprint. It's built with materials of your choosing, and decorated in your own style. Astrology is not about the "how", but it is about the "why". It can explain why you react the way you do in certain situations, why you may click with some but butt heads with others. He gave me some pretty insightful information about my mother. She was born with Uranus in her chart, which reject the maternal. She's not a maternal person. She's attracted to men, but with strange energies. She married my father, who later turned out to be gay. The relationship she had with my brother was not a maternal relationship but co-dependent. She now has formed a new co-dependent relationship with her "second son", an African priest who is very kind, but also very needy. And my mother needs to be needed. She doesn't like women and needs to be in control in every relationship. She has a very "wounded" chart and is in a very miserable place in her life right now. He said it's going to get worse in the spring, so to just be a little nice to her. He added it's okay to have a relationship with her, as there's nothing she can to do me that's too damaging, but it's best to keep it at a distance. There's more, but I've got to get to work.

Hope you all are well and enjoying your day. Thanks to all of you who commented on my last post.


At 8/21/2007 2:08 PM, Blogger Drowned Girl said...

Hi my dear.. i did a post listing books i think... let me dig it out..


excuse briefness of comments.

I seem to have absolutely no energy. I hope it's not downhill from here!

At 8/22/2007 12:13 AM, Blogger Em said...

I think that telling the truth is almost always the best policy. I have friends who used a gestational surrogate. From the time their daughter was old enough to sort of understand, she has grown up knowing that her mommy's tummy was broken so she had a tummy mommy.

At 8/28/2007 9:59 PM, Anonymous Lynnette said...

Anna, I tried e-ing you, but it was returned. Here is the body of my email:

"Here is the link to that board I was talking about.
http://www.network54.com/Forum/247611/ If you look at
the top, there are some more links. I also used to
look at the DE boards at IVFConnections.com. HTH!
Thanks for the comment and I love reading your blog.


At 9/11/2007 11:35 PM, Blogger Manuela said...

Oh, Anna... though I never remotely judged you in the least... I cannot TELL you how relieved I am to hear that you are going to tell your darling Bee the truth.

As one who had the truth of their existence witheld from them from birth... I speak from experience when I applaud the precious gift of honesty you are giving your beloved son. It will only bring you closer to eachother.

Much love, friend.


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