I was just reading April's blog
and it got me thinking of the ghosts of Valentine's Day past. I've had my share of ups and downs for VD, so I'll share what this day has meant to me over the years.
When I was in high school, I dated the same guy for three years (freshman year to the beginning of senior year). I worked in a florists after school, so I sent him a dozen sterling roses every year for his birthday and valentine's day. He never got me flowers, reasoning that I worked in a florist.... why would I want more flowers? He was a clod, and treated me terribly. Thankfully I began to develop some self esteem and broke up with him. Sadly, he tried to hang on to me for dear life and I remained terribly claustrophobic in relationships for nearly a decade.
In college, I started dating a guy who I met through mutual friends and was six years older than myself. He was funny and kind and we got along very well. We had only just started dating when Valentine's Day rolled around. I sent him a postcard. He sent me a dozen white roses. I was floored, as I had never received flowers before. It was a rush, and all my friends wondered what I had done to get them. We hadn't even gotten serious yet, so it certainly wasn't sex. We had a nine month relationship and had a nice mutual break up (we were both virgos). We still keep in touch, and I e-mail him every so often.
In my second college, I dated a guy who was not a great match for me, and I can't remember what it was about him that I loved, although at the time I thought he was pretty hot. I ordered sterling roses for him and made
him a card, like from actual wood pulp. He dumped me. I was upset, mostly because I was the one being dumped; I certainly didn't think the relationship had staying power, but no one likes being rejected.
I dated another guy in college who was hot and we got along well; we both enjoyed Hellraiser graphic novels and watching creepy movies. For Valentine's Day, I conspired with one of his housemates and made him dinner, which we ate off of the floor, picnic style. I got him silk boxers, and he really enjoyed the gesture, so that was a nice day.
For my first Valentine's Day with Mr. Right, we were still just roommates at the time. I had come out of an unpleasant relationship, and Mr. R was a good friend from college and my new roommate in a new city. I was really looking forward to our Love Stinks VD to watch Robo*Cop and maybe order in some Chinese. At the last minute, this girl he had kinda been seeing called and asked him if he wanted to go to dinner (translation: take her out to dinner). He went and I stayed at our apartment in a pissy mood. His best friend, whom I had met once before, called and he cheered me up. We just bashed Valentine's Day and love in general, and wowed me with his Christopher Walken impressions. Perhaps not as great at the Love Stinks VD I had hoped for with Mr. R, but it did the trick.
Since being with Mr. Right... and April 21 will be our 10th anniversary together... everyday is like Valentine's Day. We don't go nuts for VD. Usually we do cards, flowers and dinner. I asked hubs what he wanted to do and he replied "Just to have a nice dinner out and spend some time with you." Now, keep in mind that we work together, so we're around each other every day. Granted, I do have my own office, but I miss the times when we worked out of one room and we were right next to each other. It's funny that I miss him, even though he's in the next room. Equally funny is that he misses me too. [Feel free to be sick any time, folks.]
There are times, due to work and deadlines, when we've had to postpone Valentine's Day to a day more in keeping with our
schedule as opposed to the calendar. We went to the Russian Tea Room on one of these occasions, which was just fantastic. So sad they closed down.
This morning he presented me with a vase of tulips (which I absolutely love
) and a card filled with the most lovely sentiments. I gave him my morning card, and I have another one I'll give to him later tonight at dinner. We generally don't do gift things, unless there's something really special that one of us wants. Being ever practical, I enjoy this approach. ; )
Mr. R has done so many lovely and romantic things for me since we've been together... I save all the notes he writes me, and these aren't even the shmoopie notes. I have one on my desk telling me to 1) Call my Dad and 2) Call Lauren at home, because he drew this cute little happy bee on it, with tiny little shoes on his wee bee feet. I mean, really! How can one discard that? I save them all, with their little illustrations or love notes. The most touching card he ever gave me for valentine's day was 2 years ago, during our first IVF cycle. In the card he drew our two little embryos and captioned them: "We promise we'll stick, mom!." I get teary thinking about it now... That cycle didn't work, but the sentiments expressed still mean so much... Ah, when we were new to IVF and filled with hope.
I love when we listen to Frank Sinatra and he sings "Luck Be a Lady" or I Get A Kick" to me with mad gesticulations... it always cracks me up and makes me feel special at the same time. I'm stunned that he looks at me every day like he can't believe I'm in front of him, and tells me how absolutely beautiful I am. I am not
hot, so you know that this is clearly the love talking, but I know he means it. Then he tells me the rare find is a girl who's into geeky stuff (Star Trek, Sci-Fi, Horror), is hot, but doesn't know
she's hot. Apparently meaning me. I'm just glad he
Shmoopiness and romance aside, he is also the most dependable person I've ever met. I trust him implicitly, with everything. He's handy around the house and does not believe in the word "can't." He's talented, funny, patient, passionate, and my favorite person in the world. I can't imagine starting a family with anyone else but him. He'll be a fantastic dad. And on top of all of this, he's hot!
He doesn't think so but he is. I've had friends tell me, and even people I've just met, so this isn't even my bias. Still makes my heart race and my toes curl.... gotta love that in a man.
Sunday morning we awoke to about a foot of snow. Inside, we woke up at nine and stayed in bed, cozy under the covers, talking and laughing until noon. Then we made a fantastic breakfast, put together the changing table and hung the roman shade in the Bee's room. It was a lovely, lazy, perfect day. Every day I awake and see his sleepy, smiling face is Valentine's Day. Instead of cheapening the day or the experience, it makes every day that much more special.
I hope you all are having a lovely day today, however you recognize the occasion. So now it's your turn... Please share what you'll be doing (or not doing) to celebrate Valentine's Day, or antecdoctes of years past. Feel free to go long. I'm sure Blogger can afford the bandwidth. ; )