Wednesday, August 24, 2005

So Far, So Good! And Bile to Boot!

Well, color me happy and tickle me pink. Everything is moving along...Really well. What a tremendous relief! Aside from waiting 1.5 hours for my ultrasound (new doctor who likes to spend time with his patients), everything was great.

My progesterone was good: 25, and my hCG was 93,359 (I really just ask out of habit, now). The heart rate was 146, and the length was 13 mm, although the doctor said he might be a mm long, which is still fine. I have finally been cleared to have decaf coffee, chocolate "in moderation" and sex. That's right - I have been not just without sex, but without orgasm since July 26th. I can't remember when it's been that long, if ever. My poor dh, he was quite happy to know we can finally get back to a little fun, but I was happier; after all, his "special moments" don't contract my uterus and risk threatening our little wee one getting all snug as a bug in a rug. So now that's no longer a risk apparently.

I'll stay on the 1 cc of progesterone until Monday, when it will drop to 1/2 cc and I'll discontinue the estrogen and baby aspirin. Then just one more visit next Wednesday and I'll be free to go to my OB. I've already e-mailed him (including the pic) and asked him when I should set up an appointment. I just love that I can communicate with my doctor via e-mail. He's a sole practitioner and has a small staff - everyone is just lovely there. When he induced labor with Ben, I was on a liquid diet. I was jonsing for a lemon ice pop, but they were out. He went down to the cafeteria and actually bought me a lemon ice pop. He's a kind man, and a great doctor. We're lucky to have found him.

So. That's all the good stuff. Now I would like to take this time and space to do a little venting.

Here's the background: my brother is 33 and recently married to K, 38. My brother has adult onset adrenoleukodystrophy, known as adrenomyeloneuropathy. He is in a wheelchair, has no strength or sensation in his legs, has complications with bed sores due to his diabetes (which he has as a complication from taking cortisone, because his body doesn't produce enough). He is incontinent, but so far is resisting catheters. This means the ammonia from his urine doesn't help his ulcers. Now, reading all this, I'm sure you will immediately feel bad for this person. I would. Growing up, he was a really sweet kid, a little goofy, funny, kind and generous to a fault. His choices were always a little iffy, and he could get compulsive and throw tantrums, but he was a good brother. Unfortunately, this is not the person who currently occupies my brother's wheelchair. The person he is now is mean, angry, aggressive, combative, rude, obnoxious and has told me in no uncertain terms that he feels he should be able to treat anyone however he wants and they should just take it. As soon as he tries this with my DH, Ron immediately puts him in his place. This he seems to accept. People who don't want to say anything back, however, are treated to constant berating and belittling. He and my mother also have a symbiotic relationship. When my mother misinterpreted something I said (which is pretty constant), my brother called and threatened "to make my life miserable" if he even thought I was being a bitch to my mother. First of all, I would never say something deliberately mean to my mother. Although I don't like her, it's just not a nice thing to do. Besides, I have a therapist I can discuss that with. Second of all, why is he mom's champion? When my dad left in 1999, my mother sounded on the verge of a nervous breakdown for about a year. My parents were miserable together for 9 years prior to this - it certainly didn't come out of left field. The constant brainwashing from my mother to my brother of what a horrible man my father was definitely stuck. My bother was always a weak minded individual, easily susceptible to suggestion. And my mother? Manipulation queen. There you go. Now you have background.

Anyhoo, my brother and his wife were married in Vegas this past May. They begun trying to have a child immediately. The options my brother has in passing this disease on are as follows: he could have a healthy boy (free and clear of this disease) or a carrier female. They are not trying IVF. They are not trying gender selection. They are just trying. (Apparently my brother injects medication which helps him perform). Their view? "Well, if it's a girl she'll just be a carrier." What disturbs me is not that their daughter might be like me (asymtomatic carrier, blog full of our efforts to have a healthy child), but like my mom, who has had to live with this disability since she was 24 years old. To me this is incredibly irresponsible, but not surprising. As of this date, they have not yet succeeded, and I don't plan on sharing my news until after my first trimester. So I just find it all a little whacked... All we have been through to try to give our child the best chance not to have this disease and going so far as to have completely different eggs (well, mostly different - thanks cuz)! The fact they have no regard for what their child has to go through is just astounding. Needless to say, I'm really hoping they have a son.

Well, this post is certainly long enough, and when I return, I promise to fill in the gaps on my dad, who I promise is a warm, loving and fabulous person. Enough bile for one day. Thanks for reading.


At 8/25/2005 10:43 AM, Anonymous Tessy said...

Congrats on another good ultrasound.

Your brother sounds like he may be suffering from depression and his attitude towards others may be misdirected anger. Remember your misery loves company comment.....

He and his wife may not be considering the effects of being a carrier on a potential daughter. Since he is currently suffering from the disease his thoughts may be that as long as the child doesn't end up in his situation he doesn't care about anything else.

Just my piddly 2 (or so) cents.

I hope things work out for the best for all of you.

At 8/25/2005 10:44 AM, Anonymous Tessy said...

By the way, I'm on baby aspirin and will continue it until delivery. I did the same with my daughter. Any reason you are stopping it?

At 8/25/2005 10:54 AM, Blogger Anna said...

Hi Tessy! and welcome to my blog : ) Mmmm, the RE just said to stop taking it on Monday. They wanted my on it (and off all caffeine) to make sure as much blood as possible was getting to my uterus. I'm guessing that since everything looks pretty normal, there probably isn't a reason to continue; the pregnancy doesn't appear to be threatened. BTW, Congratulations to you on your forthcoming blessing! I wish you all the best. : )

My brother has seen first hand how the disease has affected my mother - all our lives she's struggled with this. I believe it is a misery loves company thing with him. I'm sure he is depressed, but since no one keeps him in check, he's awful. To those who bring him up short, he's more respectful. Much like a child testing his boundries.

At 8/25/2005 1:40 PM, Anonymous Manuela said...

Yay for the ultrasound!!

Regarding your brother... WHOA... I don't even know what to say... it sounds like a pretty messed up situation for a child... both emotionally as well as physically...

At 8/25/2005 2:28 PM, Blogger NME said...

So glad your pregnancy continues to go well. And it's really fabulous that you found such a good doctor.

It's a shame about your brother - both the illness and its effect on his personality. I can totally understand how it must be upsetting to hear about your brother gambling with the life of his child especially since you have taken such measures to make sure you have a healthy child. But we all have our own perceptions and make our own judgements on how best to live our life accordingly. And often you have to stand by and hold your tongue while family and friends make different decisions than you would make - no matter how whack you think they are. Because you would want the same.

But I totally understand your need to vent.

At 8/25/2005 2:34 PM, Blogger Anna said...

I have never said a word to my brother - it's not my place, and he would never listen to me anyway. He's also the kind of person who will do the complete opposite of any suggestion made to him. Say, he's thinking about cutting his goatee. If I make the suggestion to him to trim his goatee, he will then opt not to do it, because I made the suggestion. Even though he was planning on doing it anyway. But he's always been like that.

Thanks again to all of you letting me get this out. I'll follow up with happier stuff soon.

At 8/26/2005 10:09 AM, Blogger NME said...

Anna -

Thanks for your kind comments on my blog. You are very sweet.

I'll be out of blogging action for a week but look forward to reading your updates when I return.

Be well.


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