Thursday, August 11, 2005

To Freeze or Not to Freeze...

That, apparently, is not the question we will have to entertain. NONE of our embryos made it to freezing. Out of 25 eggs, and 10 embryos, the only one that made it is currently residing in my uterus. Not that there's any pressure for the little sesame seed, or anything... It's just kind of mind blowing, because these primo eggs are from an unbelievably healthy 22 year old. "A" is an A student and in school on a soccer scholarship. She's been playing soccer since she was five! She's fit, she's funny, she's pretty, we were thrilled that she volunteered to donate for us. It's particularly nice because we both have the same grandparents on my mother's side.

My question is, if this can happen with eggs from a fertile 22 year old, what hope is there for me? Or for anyone who's fertilely challenged? I guess it's just a shot in the dark, really. Sometimes we have great cycles. Sometimes they leave a lot to be desired. How on earth could we possibly know when is the right month to proceed? How do we know if our ovaries are going to cooperate? And if our ovaries cooperate, what about our lining? Sometimes all of our elements are just not on the same page. Really, it's an absolute miracle that children are conceived and born at all. Some will be successful, some will not. Some of us will chose adoption, donor eggs or sperm or surrogacy; there are others still who will decide that a family of two will have to be enough. Gosh, this is a slippery slope. And I was never that great at skiing (after a particularly fine day with friends and having a blast, I retired from skiing, going out on a high note and can thus still recall the memory fondly. Which is just fine with me as I really don't care much for the cold, preferring to stay within a cozy home and read, have sex, or anything not involving frostbite).

Which brings us back to freezing. As we have no other players is the bullpen, we have, literally put all our eggs in one basket. One seems to be making a go of it, for which we are extremely grateful. Whether or not this will continue remains to be seen, specifically on Wednesday. August 17th. Until then I'll keep doing what I have been: no aerobic exercise, no orgasms, no caffeine (which includes the two boxes of delectable chocolates Mr. Right brought home from Belgium -what a dear boy), and no stress. Which is fine. I don't mind avoiding any of these things as long as it means that in April we will have a healthy little baby bee. I'm no stranger to sacrifice and I'm thrilled to be in this situation to make this sacrifice. I'm ecstatic to even have gotten to this point. I'm reassured to have a husband who delights in pampering me and makes me fresh vegetable juice in the mornings (spinach, carrot & celery, which is actually yummy - all 20 oz. of it). We so want to have a little wee one join our family of two. We will continue to prepare and hope for the best. As for the worst, we'll cross that bridge should it present itself to us.

As for you, dear reader, thank you for continuing to read our journey. How lovely it is to have you along for the ride.

3 Comments:

At 8/11/2005 3:04 PM, Blogger NME said...

The whole process both "naturally" and science-aided is amazingly complex. Each healthy child born is truly a miracle. So many variables - so many things that can go wrong. I hope you have a little miracle incubating in you right this minute.
In my opinion parenthood is all about sacrifices - but sacrifices that pay off big. Wishing you the best.

 
At 8/11/2005 7:51 PM, Anonymous Manuela said...

Carrots and celery I can understand... but SPINACH? Blech.

Hey, girl... I'm finally getting around to dropping you a comment. I am going to wish you every conceivable ounce of luck I can send your way!

 
At 8/12/2005 8:31 PM, Blogger K said...

It is truly amazing when you realize the odds of all this. I know it's hard when none make it to freezing. You kind of feel as if you're losing your backup.

I'm hoping that your good news comes soon!

 

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